Instead of asking why you can’t stop, we get curious about what the behavior has been doing for you.
What it’s protecting you from?
What’s been left unaddressed in your story?
That’s the work that actually moves things.
COACHING
You’ve probably already tried to stop.
And maybe it worked — for a while. But something keeps pulling you back. Not because you want this life. But because part of you is still getting something from it.
The urge. The give-in. The ten seconds of nothing. Then the crash. The self-talk. The “last time”.
Maybe you’ve tried filters, accountability, willpower. And you’re still here.
Not because you’re broken. Because no approach has ever gotten close enough to the real problem — the shame and stories you’ve never said out loud, the loneliness & emotions you’ve been medicating, the version of yourself you’ve been slowly burying.
“What makes sense about this?” — that’s the question that changes everything.
WHAT COACHING LOOKS LIKE
Honest conversations — Not scripted sessions. Real dialogue about where you actually are — not where you’re supposed to be.
Exploring your story — We don’t rush to fix. We get curious about patterns, triggers, and the emotional roots underneath the behavior.
Building connection — Not just control. Real relationships. A sense of being known — the one thing addiction has always been trying to replace.
WHO THIS IS FOR
Tired of disturbing habits and/or porn being part of your life
Tried other things and still feel stuck
Ready to look deeper, not just manage behavior
Done performing, longing for change and freedom
If you’re tired — not just of the habit, but of who you’ve had to become to keep it hidden — reach out.
THIS WORK IS PERSONAL
iLLUME Recovery was built on a simple belief: most men aren’t stuck because they’re broken. They’re stuck because something in their story hasn’t been understood yet.
The opposite of addiction is connection. That’s not a slogan — it’s the foundation of everything we do here.
When Johann Hari studied addiction, he found that the men who got free weren’t the ones with the most willpower. They were the ones who found real belonging — relationships where their story was actually known. That’s what iLLUME is built for.
ABOUT DAVID
This isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to sit in the hard places — with kindness, honesty, curiosity, and respect.
David’s approach draws on the frameworks of Jay Stringer, Dan Allender, and Chip Dodd — work that takes the whole person seriously. Not just the behavior. The story behind it. The wounds underneath it. The longing it was always trying to meet.
His work is grounded in 12-step relational traditions and story-based coaching — direct without being clinical, honest without being harsh. His practice is grounded in his own recovery and experience.
Here you might finally be understood. Safe. Secure.
